Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
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sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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