We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
