I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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