Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
