I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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