Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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