I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
