I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize