Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize