Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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