drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
