no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
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Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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