two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
