it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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