hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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