You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
