i would punch a child for taco bell
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
