Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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