why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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