That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
