so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
