i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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