im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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