dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
