dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
