i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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