I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
