He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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