i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
