I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
