yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
