Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
