so that wasnt chicken after all
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
ttyl tear gas
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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