Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
