Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
