Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
