dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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