just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize