Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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