Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize