Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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