It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Randomize
