guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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