she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
