Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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