Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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