I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
