just come out here and I will go home with you...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
