i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Less talking, more tequila
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
