But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
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Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
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You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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