oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
