girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize