Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions

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(716): View more from New York

God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.

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(360): View more from Washington

Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"

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(707): View more from California

You rang?

(405): View more from Oklahoma

Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.

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(361): View more from Texas

He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?

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