I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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