Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
