Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
