Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize