you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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