I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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